The Legend of Zelda and Some News
December 6th, 2002
"It's The Legend of Zelda and it's really rad. Those creatures from Ganon are pretty bad. Octoroks, Tektites and Leevers too, But with your help our hero pulls through."
Christ, I'm so glad that most of the 1980's are now a big blur to me otherwise that friggin' rap would haunt me for the rest of my life. The little shitty jingle was the focus of a crappy television ad that appeared when the game was released. Shit... I like old' school rap, you know RUN DMC but shit... not all of it.
Back in the day when I was a wee lad (mid-1980's), I'd walk 10 hours to school in 8 foot high snow with werewolves chasing my ass at every turn. To relieve the pain, my homies and I would relax in comfort infront of the NES (Nintendo Entertainment System). Contra kicked ass right alongside with Pro Wrestling, Life Force and the Super Mario Bros. series. Ahhh sweet. One day I went over to my homies crib and we chilled back with a couple of Cokes as he revealed a gold cartridge. Holy shit! I said to myself, "What the hell is this? This game must be special to be gettin' some kinda' gold cartridge." When I played the game, I knew that it was special and why it kicked ass.
The Legend of Zelda played beautiful, looked beautiful and sounded beautiful. The moment you hit that POWER ON button and that friggin' haunting theme music kicked in (not that God awful rap...), you were pumped up for a memorable experience. As the adventurous LINK, you would cross a world teaming with bad dudes (not villians from the Data East game), puzzles, dungeons and treasure. The Readers Digest version of the story simply told is that you're on the quest to retrieve the 8 pieces of the "Triforce" to defeat the evil Gannon and save the princess Zelda.
Those were the days, hell I'm even replaying the original game on my NES (I Avoided the tempatation to sell my gold cartridge for $60,000 on ebay). So here I am again, 12 years old again, drinking Coke and collecting the 8 pieces of the TriForce (So far I got 4 of them).
Now I bring you the Good News of Hyrule. From the gospel of knowledge. It tells me that the GameCube Zelda will hit in March. Nintendo of America is working hard with Japan to get that friggin' ultimate pre-order disc over here that's available to our friends in the east. Now what's this ultimate pre-order disc? Well it includes -
1 - The Legend of Zelda: Orcarnia of Time - Looking beautiful at a higher res and frame rate than on the N64. Oh, yeah and its THE COMPLETE GAME!
2 - The crazy ass expansion game of Orcarnia of Time which was developed for the illfated 64D drive. COMPLETE GAME AS WELL!
3 - Lots ole' movies of upcoming games.
Now that is the ultimate pre-order disc... DAMN!
This friggin' disc better hit NA or I'm going to bitch slap some Nintendo execs!!!!
Well back to Link... Must save Zelda. Hmmm is it me or did Zelda look pretty hot in Super Smash Bros. Melee? Hmmm... Must save her!
UPDATE! Holy shit! Nintendo of America is releasing the bonus disc wich you recieve when you pre-order the new Zelda. I'm about to faint. Holy crap... Looks like my bitch slapping worked!