Summer My Ass... E3 Rocked My World!

Well holy crap! Like a lightning blast frying a frog's ass, E3 2002 has come and gone. Once again an exciting show with some exciting new titles hitting the powerhouse three consoles.

Let's start off with the main man, Nakasan(that's Yuji Naka to you bitch). We were chillin', keepin' it real as we scoped booth babes out and partied. Not just partied, but partied HARD! We also planned a God style flooding in the EA section, but the continuous tequila just wouldn't let us go. E3 showcased Sonic Team's first and only online game for the GameCube, Phantasy Star Online. PSO will come complete with a 4-player GameCube mode where you and your homies can play together on one Cube. Nice! This title gets sweeter and sweeter! Sonic Team has also thrown in a number of downloadable mini-games for the GBA. When connected to the GC during play, the GBA will have access to some downloadable games. These will include Puyo-Pop(nice!), Chu-Chu Rocket (Very Nice!) and Nights Into Dreams (Hell Yeah!). Expect this friggin' bitchin' epic to come smashing onto your Cube in the fall.

Nakasan loves Sonic and we do too. Sega just announced that it has sold 1 million copies of Sonic Adventure 2: Battle (not including the DC version) for the GC and a million copies of Sonic Advance for the GBA worldwide. Impressive. Now either a group of genetically altered space cattle controlling human minds with the shitty sounds of N-Sync while we're taking a dump on the crapper are responsible for this or people just love the Hedgehog... I think the answer is obvious. Damn you space cattle! Damn you all to hell! With such monstrous success of the new Sonic Games, Sonic Team is ready to release an army of new Sonic titles!

Title Number 1 - Sonic Mega Collection for GC

Here we go! A collection of Sonic classics from Sonic The Hedgehog to 3-D Blast, this pack will keep fans and new comers happy as a gopher in hell for a long time. I am drooling now... The GameCube is my new best friend. Titles official announced for this encyclopedia are Sonic 1, Sonic 2, Sonic 3, Sonic & Knuckles, Sonic 3-D Blast(Genesis Version), Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine and Sonic Spinball. Now this collection is a nice start but I have a feelin' a second collection will be in the works to include Sonic CD, Sonic 3-D Blast(Saturn version), Sonic R, Sonic Fighters, Sonic The Arcade Game and Sonic Shuffle... This is my thoughts and not based on fact.

Title Number 2 - Sonic Adventure 1 for the GC

I am super excited about this one! Its hard for me to judge which Sonic Adventure I like more. You see I think the gameplay was much improved in SA2 but hell I loved the multiple stories of SA1! But hey, SA2 story really kicked ass... but! but! To play Tails flying around! Yeah! Man this is gonna kick ass! And hopefully we'll be able to link this game with the next title in the list to do some Chao Raising!

Title Number 3 - Sonic Advance 2 for GBA

You see brother, when Sonic Advance came out people proclaimed it as the Second Coming of Christ... Hmmm I mean Sonic. We'll actually his third or fourth. What couldn't be better than a new 2-D Sonic gaming on the go. Rumour has it that it will include Shadow! Argh! As in good ARGH! Like a friggin' pirate... arghhh forget it...

Title Number 4 - Amy Rose Hentai for GC

A dating sim were you must impress Sonic's main squeeze by taking her shopping and on various dates while crazy mischief and antics are caused by random people or ex-lovers of your self and Amy. This title is going to be hot!

Other Sega titles storming out soon.

NFL2K3 / NBA2K3 (all consoles)

Crazy Taxi (GBA - Hell yeah!)

Super Monkey Ball (GBA)

Sega Smash Pack (GBA - includes Ecco 1, Sonic Spinball & Golden Axe... Hell yeah)

Super Monkey Ball 2 (GC)

Panzer Dragoon (X-Box... Damn you Sega... Must... Get... X-Box...)

- Kelley