T's Rebuttal To K's Rant

May 11, 2003

Okay, fine, the NES was a piecs of shit. They all eventually crap out. It's all due to that weird loading thingee they got going on. But you know why they were made like that? Because of the great video game crash of 1984. No one was buying games anymore. Gaming, they said, was just a fad that had run out its fifteen minutes. So the NES was designed to look nothing like a video game system. It looked much more like the VCRs that were availble back then. They all had that crap loading thingee going on too, and they're all dead by now as well. But that's not the point. The point is Nintendo new they had to sneak the NES into people's houses. Parents had been burned by Atari and Coleco, they were'nt about to make the same mistake again. This is also why the NES came with ROB the robot and the light gun. The NES wasn't just a video game machine, it was an "Entertainment System". Nintendo did the almost impossible, they brought gaming back to life. Sure, the system eventually crapped out, but damn man, what would you rather have: a dead system or a dead hobby?

Plus, for a "piece of shit" system, it still lasted a hell of a lot longer than most Playstations. Fuckin' Sony fuckers.

Now Kelley can join me in my Quixotic quest for a top loading NES.

And who the fuck really needs demo disks? Sure, I'll buy a mag if it has a disk with some good demos on it, but they aren't the end all and the be all. If you want to see if you'll like a game before you buy it, RENT IT! How fucking hard is that. Plus, they're Nintendo games, of course they'll be good.

And I've had it up to here with bitchy fucking crybabies who complain about Nintendo releasing too many sequels. Espescially you Kelley. How many Sonic games were released on the Genesis? Too many to fucking count. How many Mario games on the SNES? 2 if you count Mario All Stars. And either title kicks Sonics ass so hard the blue bitch will be shitting Mario boot shaped shits till he's old and grey. There was only one Mario game released on the N64 compared to two Sonic titles on the Dreamcast. There's only one Mario on the Cube compaared to two old Sonics. Oh god, please stop all these fucking sequels! Morons. The fact of the matter is Nintendo is one of the least sequel happy companies out there, from a numerical point of view. They take their time on each title. They don't just crap them out. And each one adds something new. They're never rehashes. I'd take a Nintendo sequel over most origianl titles any day. And Miyamoto and Co. still manage to squeeze out some "new" titles now and again so quit yer complainin'.

And miss Rare? What the fuck? Why play a copy of Mario when you could have the real thing? Banjo Kazooie was good, not as good as Mario, but good. Banjo Twoie was more of the same and Donkey Kong was shit. Jet Force was good and original, but still... Rare and originality don't really go together any more. What are they bringing to Xbox? Banjo, Conkers and Perfect Dark. For someone who complains about sequels, rare ain't the horse you should be backing. "The only development party in Nintendo that was doing any original material." Bullshit. Rare takes a proven idea, slaps some pretty visuals on it, takes three years to make the fucking thing and then they release it to great reviews. Then, two months later, everyone realizes the game ain't all that shit hot. They're a great company, and they make great games, but don't make them out to be somehting that they're not.

And the reason why Def Jam is on the Cube and not the box is that it's a fucking AKI game. Aki and Nintendo go together like rye and coke. De-fuckin-liscious.

- Tyler