Date : Wed, 27 Feb 2002 05:20:49

So Kelley asked me to write up a little sumpin' sumpin' 'bout my fave games o' da year. I can do that. But ya'll gotsta keep in mind that I missed out on the two biggest months of the gaming year. I missed the GameCube and the XBox, and all the games that came along with them. I missed a few great GBA games as well (Advance Wars, Wario Land 4, Golden Sun, and others). Speaking of GBA games, the Mario Kart game didn't make it on the list. Just so you know. I didn't forget it. I left it off. On purpose. So, like I was saying, this is far from a comprehensive list of the BEST GAMES OF THE YEAR. This is just a list of the games that I played this year that I quite liked (or loved). And, since I am in Australia, far away from all my games and gaming mags (farewell fair Next Gen, too bad you went out with a whimper), I am sure that I will miss some games. But still, Kelly asked for a goddamn list and I'm gonna make one! As with all my lists, this one is in NO PARTICULAR ORDER.

Alien Front Online

This was the first console game with voice chat, a feature that will become more and more common as time goes by. But Sega (as usual) did it first. My good friend Cory sold me on this game by telling me how he caused one poor soul to quit the game he taunted him so much. That's value friends. Sure the control, in my opinion, could use a bit of tweaking but you can inflict emotional pain on unseen strangers. You just can't put a price tag on that. Its just icing on the cake that the visuals are keen and the environments are uber-destructable. I just wish I could've gone online with Kelly and kicked his ass.

Conker's Bad Fur Day

This was the game that tried to show that Nintendo wasn't all happiness and sunshine. That they could be as "mature" as anyone else. And they did this with a game filled with cute creatures. This is one of the most immature mature games out there. Is it a critique of all the stupid fanboys who complain that Nintendo is too "Kiddie", the idiots who equate boobs and blood with cool? Cuz this game has boobs and blood and squirrels and fluffy bunnies. They can go together, kids. Open your minds. How many Playstation games have this much shit in them? How many games have the "princess" that the hero tries to save get capped? Aside from the "mature" content, how many games are this damn funny? This game has it all; shit, jokes about shit, large breasted women, a Saving Private Ryan level, headshots, mutiplayer mayhem, a Matrix level, and more. There are a few spots where the control could be tightened up, but that is easily overlooked (in fact, alot of reviewers did overlook it) in the face of the glorious visuals and perfect sound. I can't wait to get my hands on the GC sequel.

Devil May Cry

This poor bastard of a game had the misfortune of being rented at the same time as Grand Theft Auto 3. Needless to say, it didn't get played that much. But these are my impressions of the game as I played; nice damn graphics, shame about the voice acting, ha-ha! Killing things is fun! This game rocks! More "find the key" style puzzles?-lame. Ha-ha! Killing things is fun! This game rocks! Nice cinemas, what th-those marionette things killed me?-lame, huh-they killed me again?-I best change my strategy, there we go-NOW I'm kicking ass!, ha-ha! Killing things is fun! This game rocks! ohhhhhhhh, that boss looks cool, man what a cool boss, oh, I'm dead, crap, oh, I'm dead, crap, oh, I'm dead, crap, oh, I'm dead, crap, this is getting lame, grrrrrrrr, oh hey-I can transform-now the boss is dead! oh, I'm dead, crap, oh, I'm dead, crap, Yay! Take that you stupid magma spider type thing! On to the next level! Ha-ha! Killing things is fun! This game rocks! Another boss? I think its time to play GTA3. I picked up the game again a few days later and got a little farther, but this is a hard game and GTA3 is just so irresistible, so I stopped playing DMC and continued to play the hell out of GTA3. But, I know that this is the kind of game where you have to get your groove on. Like Goldeneye on 00Agent. You have to be in the zone to proceed. When I get back, I'm sure that I will lock myself in a room and not come out until I have made this game my bitch. Also, this game is on the list so Onimusha is not. Onimusha was a good game too, but DMC is obviously the next level of gaming whereas Onimusha is more like a bridge between levels.

Phantasy Star Online

About as addictive as you can get without a bent spoon and a lighter. I logged more hours with this bitch than with any other this year. Except maybe No Mercy, but I loves my No Mercy. But my time spent on this game dipped easily into the triple digits. And why not, its still one of the best games for the DC. The graphics are still divine, no matter what part of Ragol you pipe down to. The sound is just as compelling as before, it makes the effort all worth it slogging through the last dungeon and past Dark Falz to hear the end music. The control... the control I still have some issues with. A lock on button would be a godsend. It would save this scenario from ever happening again: you shoot slightly over an approaching baddy's left shoulder, adjust your aim slightly and shoot over the baddy's (who is now RIGHT IN YOUR FREAKING FACE)right shoulder. But that's okay daady-o, that's okay. Cuz this fucker is online baby! That's right, tha't where the crack lies: online. Everything else just sort of falls by the wayside when you get online.

It all just fades away man.... And that is why I weep for those who own this game but don't take'er online. That's like going out on a date with a slut and not getting any action. And when you do go online, please do take the proper equipment, take a keyboard for Christ's sake. The experience is just not the same without it. Its like going out on a date with a loose girl and not bringing cukes and lube.

And Another Thing

If No Mercy was released this year, then it goes on the list. If not, well it's still on the list. I can do that, it's my fucking list. Also, Smackdown sucks.

ICO

Christ is this game pretty. It is beyond that, it is beautiful. This game shows us reviewer types to be the lying biches that we are. "Graphics don't matter." we say. That is a crock of shit. Graphics do matter. And in this game they matter a hell of a lot. Without the breathtaking and distinctive visuals, this game is basically Prince of Persia. But this game is so much more than Prince of Persia: this game is BEAUTIFUL. Its art. Its a dream. Both in it's ethereal visuals and it's simple, spot on control. Like the best dreams, it's over

Too soon. But unlike most dreams, you can relive it as many times as you want. And you'll want.

Super Dodge Ball Advance

Its like Dodge Ball for the NES. But better! And smaller!

Silent Hill 2

It has been said many times by many different people (some of whom are quite stupid), but that doesn't make it any less true: if ICO is a dream, then Silent Hill 2 is a nightmare. One of those nightmares where you don't want to see what's around the corner, yet you HAVE to see what's around the corner. Once this game gets it's hooks in you, there's no going back. That sums up this game pretty well. You start off the game in a restroom and you soon discover there's only one way to progress - through a preternaturally foggy forrest. So off you go. Then the noises start. The sick, wet noises. You want to run away... but there's no going back. Later on in the game, you fall down multiple holes, you HAVE to fall down multiple holes. Because there's no going back. You'll be up late at night, getting freaked out by the game, wanting to turn it off, but you can't because its dark out and there are THINGS in that dark. Wet, horrible things that want to KILL YOU. Or WORSE. There's no going back. There have been many complaints leveled at this game. Some people hate the pace. I can see why. The first hour mainly consists of you walking through fog. No enemies. I didn't care. The director of this game knew what he was doing, and that what he was doing was a bit risky. I urge you, risk it. Other people hate the combat. Fine. Myself, I'm not all that fond of the guns in the game, but the blunt objects... There's just nothing quite like swinging a rusty pipe to the head of a lurching monstrosity again and again and again. And again. The sound is fantastic, squirty and meaty and not all that pleasant sounding. The graphics - also divine, you can't quite tell what it is you're up against, but you're pretty sure it has no right being not dead. And the lighting! When you're bludgeoning something inside a building or near a wall, the deformed shadows that it (and you) throw, put it over the top. And when it finally crumples to the ground and you crush the life (?) out of it with your heel... it never, ever got old for me. The puzzles however did. I appreciate that they are not just your run of the mill find key use key puzzles. But the inventory interface is set up as though they are. Puzzle solving takes to long. It's unwieldy. But that's the only real sore spot I had with this game. And when you compare that against all that it does SO right, well you (and I) would be an idiot not to put it on this list. And one more thing: Just for the record, I found the first one much more disturbing. Probably because it made less sense.

Gran Theft Auto 3

I have a bit of a confession to make: when I said that this list was in no particular order, I somewhat lied. You see, everything else on this list is in no particular order, but this one is. This is the last game on my list. Which means that its FIRST. That's right, this is my undisputed favourite game of the year. Sometimes there is a little method to my madness. Very little. Very sometimes.

Anyways... I like ellipses. And commas. But you probably already noticed that. I more than like GTA3. If the hole in the middle of the disk were bigger, I would consider marrying it. Or at least giving it a Dirty Sanchez. As soon as I get back from Oz, I am buying this game. I figure if a game can own me this much, the least I can do is own it. Why is this game so own-y? You ask. Are you a fucking retard? I ask in reply. Everywhere and everybody has already written reams about how much ass this game kicks. The graphics are great, especially when you consider how much of them there are (which is to say this game is fucking huge). Especially-er when you compare it to GTA2. Speaking of comparing to GTA2, this one controls so much better (although the shooting interface could be better). I found the idea of the past Grand Theft Auto games fantastic, but their execution left me cold. This time, its got me so hot I can't even drool. The sound is the best. The best. Big name voice actors. Multiple radio stations. All the cars sounding different. My God. But these are just the tools, the canvass and paints. The painting itself is the most compelling thing I've ever put in my PS2. Yes, that's including the Asian porn. I couldn't stop playing this thing. Just one small example: I knew I should go soon, so I thought I'd kill as many people as I could and get killed all to hell myself by the police. 45 minutes later I was dead, burnt to death in a Humvee. But those 45 minutes were some of the best game playing minutes I've had in years. At one point I launched myself off a freeway, in hopes of loosing the fuzz. Next thing I know, police cars are raining from the sky. And those are just the broad strokes. The finer brushwork is in there too. Your character flips off drivers who come close to hitting him. You can refill your health by picking up and "using" hookers. The fact that you have to let off the gas for a minute so you can slam the car door after you jack it. So much stuff. And I only rented this game. The highest compliment I can pay this game is that its like it was made by Miyamoto. If he had been beaten and raped as a small child.

- Tyler